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This is actually separate things I clumped together in the interest of being lazy...Enjoy?


      I wanted to be original. I thought of ideas. If I thought any particular idea was a good one, I tried to find out more about it, form an opinion, try to further develop my thoughts. Guess what I found out? Somebody else always thinks what I think. If I have an idea, somebody else has already had the exact same idea and has put it on their page. In fact, for each idea I have, there are probably 20 pages with the exact same idea on them.

   What does this mean? I am not original. Oh well, I never thought I was. I just like to play pretend sometimes. So, here's the deal: I don't care. I am going to ruthlessly copy and rip off anybody I can. I will bitch about subjects already bitched about. I will praise oft-praised things. I will fictionalize fiction and factify fact, whatever that means. And maybe sometime soon I'll get around to writing something worth reading. Or maybe I'll start putting up drawings I did. Or maybe I'll get really corny and do a "my favorite things" page or a diary page or something else equally gay. You never know how gay you can get until you stick a penis in your bum. Wait, no. I think that was a metaphor. I hope it was a metaphor. Or something. Oh well.




  This is my job: I am a security guard. This is being a security guard: sitting on your ass picking orifices looking for interesting tidbits to fling at windows. Sometimes you find some, sometimes you don't. You can't win them all.

    This is the place I guard: an engineering firm. They don't have anything worth stealing unless you are an engineer or are very interested in web servers with the name of an engineering firm etched into every piece.

    This is what I produce: nothing. This is how that feels: bad. We waste the best of today's youth on unproductive things like security guards that exist only to reduce insurance bills. But who wants to read about social ills? Who wants to read about a random twenty-something bitch and moan on his web page? This is who: nobody. 

    Today nothing important happened to me. Tomorrow nothing important will happen to me. This is apathy. If you feel like I do, I feel sorry for you. This is not a good way to feel. I would prefer to be delusionally happy and productive, or at least have the illusion of productivity.

   I stole a pudding cup from the fridge at work. It belonged to somebody. It was their lunch. I threw it at a car on my way home.